Reflection on Self as a Language Learner

"In view of her penchant for something romantic,

DeSade is too trenchant and Dickens too frantic,

And Stendhal would ruin the plan of attack

As there isn't much blue in"The Red and the Black."

-A Little Night Music

"My final thought is a simple but mighty one: it is the obligation we have been given.

It is to not turn out the same. It is to grow, to accomplish, to change the world."

-Merrily We Roll Along

Both quotes from: http://www.sjsondheim.com/contrib.html

I am motivated to learn by a seemingly unquenchable desire to understand language, as such, having to reflect on my experience learning languages is a fun exercise for me! As long as I can remember, words, and their meaning, have ruled my life. I have always processed language as literally as possible and at times this has wreaked havoc upon my world. But there have been other, truly glorious moments of clarity, where the meaning of a word, the use of language, or the subtle suggestion of an alternative idea based on language use, has made me feel as if I have learned something truly meaningful.

I began this reflection with two quotes from works by Stephen Sondheim because he exemplifies what motivates me to learn. He is also a "master" of the written word and when I grow up, I want to be just like him!. In the first quote from “A Little Night Music”, one can only understand Sondheim’s lyrics if one understands his references. A reading of Stendhal as a prelude to romance would impede the character’s seduction of his wife, because The Red and the Black is a fairly depressing oeuvre which ends with the death of the main characters! It would clearly make one sad and blue. Sondheim, however, extends his “play on words” with the word blue. A cursory reading of the verse would fit Stendhal; but, Sondheim is using the informal definition of blue as well. I was a teenager when I first saw the musical and nothing can quite match my feeling of pride when I realized I understood the shades of meaning contained in the lyrics. I am still motivated by a search for that feeling – the moment of clarity created when knowledge really takes root and one’s world of knowledge is changed.

Oddly enough, an uncomfortable learning experience with the English language further motivated my foreign language learning experience(s). I have faced one challenge in my life as a learner: in the 6th grade, my Social Studies teacher told me that I needed to have speech therapy because I didn’t speak well enough for someone “my age”. She was focused on my lisp. I would probably have forgotten this by now, but she said this to me in class, in front of my peers. I was devastated. I was a talker, a student who always raised her hand and sought to contribute to the class discussion. But for quite some time afterwards, I was quiet in that class. I felt funny, odd, and different.

When I took SPED 201 during the summer of 2006, I even mentioned this in class and I implored my classmates to never single out a child so publicly when it came to a “disability” or “difference”. It wasn’t until I started taking French that I began to feel a bit more comfortable with the way I sound when speaking. Living in the country for three years, and building friendships with French speakers also helped me overcome my fear. A lisp is actually quite helpful for pronouncing words in the Romance Languages. I think that is why I am a passionate French speaker today – I don’t sound odd in French.


Having studied French for the past 30 years, and a little Spanish and Italian here and there, I can honestly say that languages are our passport to the world.